The benefit of regular coaching for personal growth and transforming your life, cannot be over stated. As I’ve often said, “You can’t read the label, when you’re inside the bottle…”
A coach is able to help you see things about you and your situation, that are impossible to catch without an outside perspective. A coach provides accountability, support, ideas, focus, structure, and a neutral, agenda-free, non-judgmental, emotionally safe space where you can see your own honest reflection – to see what you are really doing with your behavior vs your stated desires.
While honest reflection is critical to helping you redirect your energies in alignment with the outcome you truly want, the skill of wise coaching is to never push or force or judge the client, but to allow them space to discover their own answers through a combination of emotional support, focused goal-setting, and self-reflection by open questions.
This inside-out approach to transforming your own resistance to change, is something that unfortunately friends and family and coworkers can’t give you. Often the fact that those around us love us and “want what’s best” for us, actually gets in the way… their idea of what’s best, may not be what we actually want for ourselves.
Too often we are left without any place to develop and articulate our inner most thoughts, feelings, and desires.
Some of the questions I ask private clients when they’re stuck in a particularly difficult situation are:
- What makes that a problem?
- What about that are you resisting?
- Why does that matter?
- What do you want instead?
- What is the fear-thought saying to you when you think about (desired outcome)?
- What (is the story that) are you telling yourself about that?
- What choice do you have about that?
- What have you learned from this experience?
- What’s a better question to ask yourself? (Re negative question looping)
- What better belief would serve you here? (Create a new mantra)
- What small step can you take today in the direction of progress?
- What decision do you actually need to make?
- What are you willing to change?
Whether it’s a particularly difficult breakup, or fear of pursuing your true passion, these questions will often “untie the knot” where someone is stuck. By taking the time to deeply reflect upon and contemplate the answers to these questions, and process the answers through coaching, you become free to move forward fearlessly in your life – from the comfort zone, to personal growth and transformation.
May you live the life you dream of!
Much love,
~Selina
If this mini-lesson resonates and you’d like some one-on-one coaching about your situation, I’d love to hear from you at TheSirenRules@gmail.com.
The Siren Rules 